BRITISH Accent, Love!!!!11!!! - Cora Carmack

Losing It  - Cora Carmack

DNF at 62%.

 

I wouldn't be fucked to finish this even if you came to me and gave me all the money I need to live and study in London. And if you know me (which you probably don't but that's definitely not the point right now), you'd know that I'd give and do everything for that. So, to say this book pissed me off is an understatement of the fucking year. Look, I'm not British. I'm probably as far from British as it goes (though I believe I was born at the wrong place and at the wrong time), but for fuck's sake even I found this book offensive in some way. American writer writing British character? Please don't. Please don't if only thing you know about British people are stereotypes of the fucking stereotypes and BRITISH (British!!!) accent and the word 'love'. Are you fucking with me?? Seriously? This was supposed to be cute, funny, amazing, life changing or whatever? No. Just no. I don't even know why I bothered with this because NA genre is so fucked up and it always follows the same pattern and it really shouldn't be worth my precious time.

 

Okay, this wasn't as bad as Bully (nothing can be bad as that. Using such a serious subject like bullying to create sexual tension between two characters? What? Now I am supposed to believe that ever other guy who bullies me everyday is just in love with me? Good job, book, really. Okay, getting out of subject here), but it was annoying, frustrating to no end, with annoying main character and stereotypical British love interest. And I could not finish it no matter how hard I've tried.

 

Okay, let's do this by numbers because I'll forget something and then I'll be a sad sad human being.

 

1) Bliss - Bliss? Are you kidding me? I know most NA authors have ridiculous names for their characters but really? You couldn't come up with something... I don't know, prettier and less crazier? It's just... Bliss(ful). And the character herself? Well, if I am too mature for my age, according to my therapist and people around me, than she's a pre-mature little whiney girl who belongs in high school along with my dear, dear classmates. They'd probably get along really well. She's supposed to be 22 years old but she squeals like crazy over the hot guy's British accent every few minutes (I should've really counted how many times there was his accent mention until 62%. I'm starting to regret my decision not to), whines over not having sex and giggles over a guy with her best friend like teenage girls giggle and squeal and whine over some (boy) band (I sooooooooo not do that. Pffffff). Also, she's 22 and a virgin? Well... I hope I'm not her in her age. I'd feel downright pathetic. I mean, okay if you're waiting for marriage or something, but to want sex and not having it? Are you okay? Do you need me to check your temperature? Oh of course, she doesn't know she's pretty enough. Ah, blame my stupid brain.

 

2) Garrick - If you want tips on how to write a stereotypical British male character, this is a book for you. If you want a predictable male NA character, go for it! But I really, really didn't want that so I got really fucking annoyed and I wanted to hit the author in her face. He could've been written so much better. I wanted to enjoy this. I wanted this to be different. But it just didn't and I just couldn't go through it anymore.

 

3) Cats - Okay, really? That's your excuse? Seriously? I get it that the author was trying to be funny, and I did giggle at first, but just... why? She couldn't come up with something better? Because that was lame. And then Bliss goes on and buys a cat. For a guy. Just to prove him wrong. I mean... the stupidity of a character is on the whole other level here.

 

4) Clichés - I know I shouldn't have expected anything better but there are so many annoying clichés I almost gagged and threw my tablet across the room. Just... this book follows every single NA cliché and it really annoyed me and the writing was just nowhere nearly as good as it should've been. But that was expected.

 

5) Overall - I should've stayed away but I was too stupid to listen to my brain (or reviews, for that matter). It happens even to the smartest (not to say that I am, like really, I'm just trying to sound like a smartass. Okay, enough of explaining, I'm killing the mood). Annoying, annoying and just fucking annoying. Hopefully, I find another NA like Unteachable. It's seriously sad that this genre has so many bad novels. I want to cry (not really).

 

Now I'm going to read Days of Blood and Starlight because I need something I'll enjoy. Goodbye, peeps!